So funny how easily you misspelled “hell”...title should be “We are in heaven: Alex Trebek, world’s foremost user of condescension, is contemplating retirement”

Would have been better if Joey Buttafuoco was officiating...

If it weren’t for all the BPs and Exxons absolutely littering the countryside 100 years ago, then those horseless carriages would have never taken off. #carcasm

Be careful when setting up your utilities and loan providers to be paid by a credit card auto-draft. They often tack on extra fees to cover the expense of paying via credit card. Typically, auto-draft is free when attached directly to your checking account as opposed to a credit card.

No matter how many times I wash my hands, the shame never comes off. #OCD

Have a kid. Problem solved.

I’m sure there’s an app for that.

“Luckily you’re a girl. I personally guarantee you won’t EVER have to worry about suffering massive brain trauma from the likes of me.”

I’ll just go ahead and rule out wolf hair and pieces of credit card as being inconclusive evidence.