I love peanut butter. It’s good.

Astros fan here. Ahem:

I’ve done it.

I will happily expedite my senescence with Asian noodle soups if it comes to that. In fact, the only reason I didn’t eat pho, drunk, at 2am last night is because they close at 2 and I didn’t realize it was that late. Give me the soup.

I couldn’t handle it.

What an American tragedy.

I’m sorry.

oh

Yes, Inglourious Basterds is that good.

Yeah

I’m in my 20's, and I’m handsome.

My tip would be to post a succession of stories with headlines like these so it reads like a cool and good paragraph.

Hey gang, non-millennial commenting on Gawker here. When you make a joke on Twitter, you better have absolutely perfect grammar or I will care about it and overlook the crux of posting the tweet in the first place. Thank’s.

I’m handsome.

no one gives a fuck

That’s your takeaway from it lol and people say millennials are insufferable

I don’t care.

stop caring so much

Give them to Damien.