Shut it, you fucking nerd.

Note: I’m a bit young for his hey day, but...

If I were a woman on Tinder and saw that Tinder screenshot, I would delete Tinder because there is no other level.

That hashtag still isn’t nearly as devastating as the Dragon Ball Z burn. That was the own of a lifetime.

I went to E3 this year and got a chance to play Madden 16 at the EA booth. I asked one of the EA workers a question about the Jets mainly “Is QB the main position that is the weakest for the Jets?” His response was without a thought “Isn’t it always?”

A few months ago, I met a girl at a work function and we ended bar hopping for the night afterward. It went well; we exchanged numbers, made out, she made sure I had my hands on her several times, etc. I was like “hell yeah”, and so forth. Then I forgot where I parked and she had to take an Uber home while I searched…

Well, I’m pretty sure these people are insane.

A few years ago at Reliant, the Raiders were in town. As me and my group made our way up the ramps to our section, I asked the Raider fans in front of me if they were in from Oakland, which they confirmed. They then insulted the Texans, at which point I said “At least our fans don’t stab people”. Blame it on the beer…

How is it that the Jags are always the first team eliminated from playoff contention, but they never have the first overall draft pick?

Well, they had a quarterback for a while and then Sanchez was swallowed by Brandon Moore’s ass.

The best QB in franchise history was killed by a mistress that worked at Adult Chucky Cheese’s, after a night out at a bar called Loser’s.

Drew, you have more than topped yourself here. This helped:

I love Mötley Crüe, and look at me

“potential criminal behavior”? Am I missing a big part of this story? I thought it was just a guy playing with fireworks.

Such a stupid thought. I think Texas would have beaten Alabama if Colt McCoy didn’t get injured. The Rockets won two championships while Jordan was gone. Baseball players joined the military during WWII. You play your schedule and opponents, end of story.

It’s so lame when people say this. I thought Texas would beat Alabama with Colt not getting injured, but it’s part of the game. Baseball players joined the military during WWII. The Rockets won two championships while Jordan was away. You play your schedule and your opponents, end of story.

Nerds.

This dude’s punch card is filling up fast.

Side note: only fitted sheet. That other sheet is bullshit.

Making the bed is gonna be a hard pass for me until I die and there’s nothing you can do about it.