Every Easter, it's my tradition to Twitter search "zombie jesus" and retweet all the hilarious original tweets of every dull American asshole.

No one asked, but I approve.

I know they have to use certain language, but I get a kick out of a university telling an adult man he’s been fired for “patting buttocks”.

I took in a stray when it wasn't old enough to be neutered. He's since been, but still under a year, he's a shithead most of the time. I bought catnip spray for a dollar at Wal-Mart just for the hell of it. A couple sprays on his scratching post, I'll throw him by it, dude gets drunk as hell for a few minutes.

Was there not a review? I was young, so my memory is foggy, but I thought I remembered a review to see whether or not Hull was in the process of kicking as opposed to the puck bouncing off. Or maybe I just don’t remember anything.

Nah, that was the right call, even if it’s “bounds” and not “balance”.

Didn’t just go downhill, he fucking jumped off the Chrysler building.

I wasn’t living in Austin yet then. I guess that’s good.

I watched that with my dad as a kid (Stars fans). I remember the review of it taking what seemed like forever.

That team was already in the Championship, so it was bigger. Otherwise, I would have said the year before when, against Texas Tech, Blake Gideon dropped a tipped ball gift of an interception that would have sealed the win and put them in the big game. Instead they went on to lose and had that three-way tie with OU. Of…

Hm, I actually don’t know about that. My problem with GG is that he showed so much promise in the second half on the biggest stage after essentially never playing. The expectation for the following year compared to the outcome...you get it.

:(

A runner-up play would be Matt Schaub getting the lisfranc injury during what was the best window of opportunity for the Texans. Damn, the teams I like have some shit luck at the worst times.

I’ll have to say, since it’s the first thing that came to mind, the play in which Colt McCoy got knocked out of the Championship game against Alabama. They had early momentum, and even got within 3 points with Garrett fucking Gilbert.

I’m coming to your house to see what you do that’s so fucking great

He sounds like he's mocking someone singing.

Ted Cruz lookin' ass.

Ted Cruz lookin ass.