Most guys don't mind a finger in the ass, but you have to ask first...

NASCAR "fights" are always like when you were young and lost your cool even though you can't fight, so you just run up on your opponent and hold on until people separate you. Lots of clothes pulling, face pushing, and tear stifling.

The defendant said "weed", which some #teens use to refer to the marijuana plant broken down to a form used for smoking, which then makes them become "high", "turnt", "throwed", or "faded". We love terms.

He should, however, be arrested for making a Twitter account for his dog.

I feel fine.

My other idea was worse.

It's midnight. Do you know where your husband is? Upside down in a drainage culver? Damn, you've played this before.

This guy would be a very successful lyricist for a shitty early 2000's metalcore band (redundant).

I will miss Rob Beeronas. This is a good response.

This is exrtremely similar to my chili, although any time I've used tomato paste, it's a seperate process from the meat (turkey), which I combine later. So I'll have to give it a go here since that's what I do for my red pasta sauce.

Gotta admire their determination to stick with it. The banner holders, I mean.

They fumbled again while I was watching this over and over.

Hilarious.

Wow, Jim McMahon's dementia is starting to pay off. Nice look.

Eh, worse things have happened in Waco.

"I don't want to gloss over the situation of a hurt player, but I'm about to"

Albany Hamlets is a bit smoother.

Nothing says a thick-skinned, hard-nosed tribe like drinking through a straw.

The Native American thing is still ok with sports organizations, but they really need to put a stop to those tits.

I didn't know Make A Wish helped Benjamin Button kids with hyperkyphosis.