FUCK! Let’s get a warning so I don’t grab these hot takes without oven mittens, okay?

The worst thing about a Mazel Tov cocktail is having to light all nine fuses before throwing it.

I’m up late googling good teen action and I get this shit?

“We think you’re shittier than Florida” is about the strongest burn I’ve ever heard of.

Obligatory:

Good sound off the bat:

I want everyone to see the uncropped AP photo:

You’re forgetting two other 16-bit players who have not retired:

Perhaps they’re embarassed that it was shot in portrait mode instead of landscape??? Imagine all the crap they’d take on these message boards if it were portrait!!

It’s really got me all...

We are pulling out for now, but if you guys fix this... creampie!

In response, the NCGOP has released an official statement:

“Just sign ‘em! Sign’em all! We’ll sort out the money later. EVERYONE should be a Saint for as long as they can! I’m gonna sign more Saints than every previous GM in the history of the team, combined.”

- Pope John Paul II’s Ghost, Interim New Orleans GM

This man is very, very cold, and in desperate need of a hot take. For only $0.40 a day, you can provide him with a hot take, so that he may warm himself.

Excuse me, but this is my Deadspin.

I can’t be the only one who went back and watched the video again after reading your comment.

If he’d been a pediatrician instead of a basketball player, I wonder what we’d call him. Dr. Livingston, I presume.

“I called Kobe when I was still playing in Orlando and asked him what I should do. He’s the one who told me to do take 1,000 a day.”

Meh - I’ve seen better.