I always find it fascinating how these “fiscal conservative/social liberal” types always seem to vote for the consertive side when they have to make a choice...

She’s a unicorn

Does it rhyme with schmaxes?

nah, i just flip my foot onto my thigh and wash em alone.

I think I only “wash” my legs when I shave them, but it’s more putting soap in the way so I don’t slice myself open rather than deliberately washing them. Sometimes I also exfoliate with a sponge thingy? Anyway, they always look the same.

I remember Dusty Rose specifically as an incredibly popular decorating colour in the ‘80s.

I’m holding out for the “Fuck All Y’all!” That’s how you tell off a group of more than 5 people..

Seriously. The most I ever paid for a tote like that was $50, and it was in the form of a Kickstarter Pledge to Reading Rainbow. If not associated with a good cause, something like that tops out at $20, and that’s if it’s really cute.

$165 for a TOTE BAG. I’m dead.

Similar trajectories even. People saying Heard was insensitive (to put it mildly) for filing for divorce so quickly AND so soon after his mother passed. Then lo and behold there are abuse allegations. Which makes her speedy decision understandable.

Well, if this is indeed true, I have her back. I actually tremendously respect a parent instantly taking action rather than putting it down to a slip up or a one time thing that just repeats itself.

It may have really been a one-off, if that helps you feel any better. Sometimes people just go off the deep end quite suddenly. Alcohol is one of the deep end’s best friends.

girl, no man is worth a rash.

So jealous. I love her.

Oh Megan, honey. Don’t test me. I will put on my Hanes Her Way Bikini cut. I will wyle out.

I’m seeing her here in Chicago in a few weeks can’t wait!

Love her!

So jealous! I just look longingly from afar at her instagram.

Telling off trolls sounds so much classier in French. Next time someone is mean to me, I’m going to say “à tous les haters, je vous souhaite sincèrement... un prompt rétablissement” then put on sunglasses and glide away.

Eh...not to me. Usher has had a special place in my heart since seventh grade so I’m biased.