Hey idiots, Chobani uses Xylitol as a sweetener. This shit is highly toxic to dogs. So go ahead and let Fido enjoy his last few licks of freedom before he keels over and shits on your rug.

I’m gonna wear a Barstool tank top. Viva, motherfuckers.

The NBA bought everything she owns. Even the phone she tweeted it from.

Gammons should win BEST tweet, in my humble opinion.

The only thing more self-indulgent in this country than Donald Trump, is the Bay Area. Seriously, you left coast hipster teetotalers haven’t seen sunshine in months because it doesn’t shine in your butthole.

You are out of your fuckin mind if you think you can get away with hotdogs being at #11.