yo, I’ve been sober for 5 days. I am eating my fourth pig in the blanket today and have covered them with at least an ounce and a half of mustard a piece. I’m gonna fuckin’ eat 6. Find your disgusting replacement and stay strong.

eh, better than a baby turtle.

Because Trump thinks black people like and listen to 4 black people, and he is so unshakably stupid, he thinks they’ll connect with them and solve their problems.

I know, I’ve exhaled so much lately, and that isn’t code for smoking even though I’ve smoked my brains out lately because of his ass. I’m starting to get these weird pains in the back of my head from being tense all of the time.

Yea, same here. It’s like you have to naturally feel that he must be able to talk if he knows how to fuck with brains, but no—he’s fucking the worst.

So what, are they supposed to just sit there and let’m push’m around? I swear, cops can’t even be cops anymore.

I’ve been thinking about how fucking scary it is that these meetings take place behind the taxpayers backs—Trump with journalists, this, etc. Why can’t they throw us, who give them everything they fucking have, some goddamn insight? It makes me nervous. The game where I thought I had an entire team behind my back…

Remember that time Chaffetz’s ass threatened Muriel Bowser because she was black, i mean because of a plant, i mean because he wants to fuck his dad, i mean because of jesus, i mean because of patriarchal misogyny, i mean because he has an Oedipus complex, I mean......  

I’ve taught 5th grade, and Ben Carson, honest to fuck, his processing skills are as low as an average 11 year old. I can not believe....like, how the fuck did he make it this far in politics? God, fuck him.

You can be removed from reality whenever you think you are going to heaven.

That’s a good point. When I write about rednecks, I write from my experience. The guys who participated in the Bundy standoff are not the typical south/southeastern United States who I am accustomed to seeing.

Yeah, but all they ended up doing was getting shot, opening packages filled with dils, and crying in their truck while holding a pocket constitution. Rednecks ain’t shit.

Riot with what, their 8 fingers and .410s? Fuck’m, they can’t even get out of their stained, modified recliners for more than a trip to the vienna sausage habitat they call a fridge. Goddamn it.

Hey, me too! I’m glad you broke the “wish death on the president” bubble on here.

I think that’s just stupid asshole, racist, southern grampy gross face with makeup.

You’ve nailed it. I am going to spend a lot more time drinking whisky until the brink and maybe start doing something illegal. Thanks for the lesson in YOLO, backward ass Christian voters.

Ok, so now we’ve established he’s super gay.

We live in a world where Adam Lanza lays 20 2nd graders asunder, and this fuck fart runs around untouched and gloating.

There is a moment in every day after this election where I just shut the fuck down. Sunday it was goddamn Bannon. Monday it was Trump’s shitass farty kids maybe getting top security clearance. Tuesday it was Trump blowing Putin over the phone. And today, it’s this goddamn fucking TMZ guy shmucking it up and…

god, if you can do this one thing, I know I don’t ask for much god but please, this one thing, and I still won’t believe in you.