" Beyonce is likely the finest living performer we have right now and she proved that again tonight."

His dad sounds like one of those guys who are so sure they're thinking some super deep thoughts but come across as uneducated, sexist idiots. There are way too many folks like that out there.

Okay, a few things:

Back when I was 14, I was masturbating like no tomorrow. Once or twice a day for about two years, I would beat the meat in my bedroom and then proceed to ejaculate all over my carpet.

Ok, but why the carpet? Like didn't you have any t-shirts, kid? Or a pair of underwear? Even your bedspread would be better (and feel more like a hotel) than the carpet.

You know that open-ended question you gals posed not long ago, asking readers what we'd like to read more of on Jezebel?

Not this.

Are we back in the phase of believing everything we see on the internet again? I can never keep up on whether we're skeptical or accepting from day to day.

So...his parents are idiots?

It's true that you would expect some enthusiasm for the situation, but I think it's unclear that she was actually unhappy. Someone else pointed out that she may have been attempting Elsa's signature raised-eyebrow smirk, and I think that's possible. Facial dexterity and acting are not really very common skills, and…

I know you didn't actually mention those things. But I'm just not really seeing how it's such a terrible costume that it deserves it's own post, except for her general appearance. And yes, her facial expression is a big contributor to that appearance, but Jezebel also usually doesn't love the idea of telling women…

I'm kind of surprised Jezebel is making fun of this woman. It seems obvious that the biggest problem with the look isn't really the quality of the costume. If this was a cute, skinny, smiling girl in good make-up, there would be no real issue.

Are you trying to hide that you actually found this on reddit?

"When you pray, you are not to be like the hypocrites; for they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and on the street corners so that they may be seen by men. Truly I say to you, they have their reward in full. But you, when you pray, go into your inner room, close your door and pray to your Father who is in…

My dad couldn't do my hair either. Though, he didn't want to hurt us so he would barely put the brush to our head. He didn't know how to braid, so he'd try doing ponytails, but, again, he didn't want to hurt us so he ended up gently gathering my hair and only wrapping the hairband around twice. It would fall out as I…

This brings me SO much joy. The show was flawed, of course, but I still love it. (Notice I stopped at the show, because as far as I'm concerned, the movies do not exist.)

I hope he means it as a compliment!!!

You guys! What if these two spreadsheet-writers found each other (that first marriage isn't gonna last either, it looks like) and fell in love and lived happily ever after and had tons of sex and wrote each other optimistic spreadsheets detailing their happiness and satisfaction? That would be so cute! And it would…

my boyfriend pinches my elbow fat and says "it feels like balls". .__.

if guests had read the wedding website

the last weirdo to have a private Instagram account though my Twitter is public and I share my photos there sometimes