Oh god, I remember this one couple who wanted to pray over my wrist because I wore a carpal tunnel brace. After they signed the check, one of them said, “I pray the lord heals your hand.” I replied, “I’m less concerned about the lord than the surgeon.”

There was another family who complained to a manager because they…

That’s some next-level trolling right there. I tip my hat to thee, good sir!

Didn’t you know? Only God’s rejects have to work Sundays, and treating them like crap is His will.

As a taxpayer, who helped pay for the police and the coast guard, I resent God taking credit for my contributions.

I worked at a pizza place in Arizona when I was in high school. I was pretty quickly given the Sunday shift and I equally quickly learned why no one else wanted to work it: Church Groups. The morning would always start pretty chill, while we prepped for the rest of the day. We had the occasional customer, but that was…

I loved The Church Lady too, but that damn, “Oh, I don’t know...could it be SATAN?!” almost got me in trouble at my uncle’s funeral.

I belong to a D+D group that meets at Denny’s every Thursday night. There is a single isolated dining area in the back that we used for our boisterous bunch. One week we show up and this old guy is sitting in our area reading a bible. We tell him we’ve got the room reserved, but he says his group has reserved it for…

It’s funny because I was just reading 1 Corinthians, and while there is totally one line where Paul condemns “homosexuals” (in quotes because that’s not actually what the Greek means, but there’s not really a great way to translate it into English without a dissertation on ancient gender and sexual ideology), he’s…

An hour.

This happened to my friend IRL, she was seriously injured in an accident at a Christian summer camp and instead of calling an ambulance straight away, the adults in charge prayed for over an hour before calling the ambulance.

Praying instead of calling 911 reminds me of my very religious (and very practical) grandmother’s favorite joke about praying for help in an emergency. It’s an old one but I think it actually applies here.

Yup. Whenever Jesus-y people start their sermons at me I like to let them know that I was raised christian and that the founding pastor of Calvary Chapel is my godfather- and that has led me to my current atheism.

I’ve heard of similar results from answering with “That depends on who’s asking,” followed by a flirty smile.

I remember someone posted on another article, they passed out and woke up to find a prayer circle around them. No one thought to call 911 or get a doctor. The poster was okay but what if the hadn’t been?

How much food is crazy Jesus statue couple wasting each year? They could feed actual people, like actual Jesus did. But no. Jesus statue has demands!

My husband and I toured the Paris Catacombs. It was one of the pivotal experiences in my life - I emerged with a profound acceptance of my own mortality, along with some insight into the darker side of human nature. While we were in there, we saw a woman (an American, sunnysunny-blond, moneyed, extremely entitled) pry…

Mentioning the 9/11 gift shop always makes me think of this.

Me and my sisters went to catholic school for a year when we were little because we were living in an area where my parents didn’t feel great about the public schools. (We’re not catholic.)

Well this is a story of my grandfather at a moment of great family sadness and pain.

I wrote a parody of Passion of the Christ (as a kind of performance art piece) that was so sacrilegious that my friends who performed in it had their kid taken away in a custody dispute when the Catholic judge was shown pics of it. Took years to straighten out. Worst thing I ever accidentally did.