Manatees regularly swim down the canal behind my parents’ house. I love to sit and watch them poke their snouts out of the water to munch on leaves. I think they super rad and incredibly adorable but they’re also way bigger than people think. I would probably be a little freaked out if one swam by me but I wouldn’t…

Okay, here’s my manatee story: my parents retired to Florida in the early ‘80s. They were of modest means, but somehow my mother ended up in a very tony bridge club, and soon feared she was totally outclassed. The group met at each others’ houses and, as she discovered to her terror, always had lunch that featured a…

they never know which button to push, but they’re always cute and apologetic about it.

I was really disappointed when Kelly Evans apologized for asking legit questions, while Paul Rand was shushing her. I think all women intending to interview Paul Rand in the future need to take a page from this bad ass.

I prefer

WOW

More likely she takes her Fox limo home, to her Fox paid for house, and (in my head), makes schmoopy noises at a medium size dog. Then she pours a Big Carl size glass of wine (white is my guess), fills up a bong, take a big drink, and a big hit. Then she holds for a few seconds, blows it all out, relaxes her shoulders…

“Did you get overly emotional?”

She’s right, though. I sprung fully-grown from my father’s forehead at about age 25. #Athena

Okay, so after the bandages come off from the human centipede surgery (with Ted Cruz in the middle, of course), I stick them in a trailer, drive to City Hall and marry them. Boosh will have the veil, and chartreuse bridesmaid dresses for the other two. After the Quad Cities honeymoon—

I think you can be well-educated and still act immature, and by failing to reckon with the fact that Claire's from a different place (though WAY different than he thinks) and expecting she'll just go along with his "well this is the way things are done in the Highlands" speech, that's what he's being. He might have…

It's weird; I can't remember offhand having someone assume I was uneducated because of my job (though maybe I've just repressed those memories and soon they'll come flooding back), but I did have almost exactly this conversation approximately 3,974 times during the five years between my college graduation and when I…

I'm a Park Ranger now and people are very surprised I have a MA, with Honors no less, I don't get paid much but I love my job. I had a mom and boy ask me last week what you had to do to become a Ranger and my first words were got to college and get a B.A. in History, Biology, Forestry, Parks & Rec, and some other…

I had a table once whisper loudly to their children, "if you don't go to college, you'll end up waiting tables like her..." while I was prebussing their table.

Judging by the number of commenters that think the server is always in the wrong and that the customer should be excused... I'd venture to say that at least some of them have done these exact same things before.

Along the same lines as Becca's story about people making assumptions about educational backgrounds, I waited tables at an Italian chain restaurant that falls between Olive Garden and Macaroni Grill in terms of cost/quality the summer between college and law school. Our clientele was generally pretty decent, and as a…

Managers who don't stand up for their employees are THE WORST.

I'm proud to be an American, where at least I know my cheddar biscuits will be free. And I won't forget the men who died, so I can bitch about automatic gratuity.

So....were the "Air Force" sons in Lawrence's story threatening to bomb San Francisco if this restaurant didn't give them a military discount? I'm trying figure out if they could have possibly meant anything else.