It’s Tuesday, and that means another edition of Resignation Letters to Patrick. Today’s letter comes from Doug DeMuro, Jalopnik’s resident humorist, part-time Ferrari owner, and specialist in the Rule of Three. Doug writes:

Almost there...

Thank you Raphael for Using My awesome Ranger on the article cover. Was a nice awesome surprise. I have always wanted to be in Jalopnik. I’m getting closer. I am all for the growth of USA rally!!

Battle-Ready Ordnance Delivery Operating with Zero Effective Readiness, or BRODOZER for short.

Perhaps Minotaur would be a better sponsor for him. #tastethebeast #unleashthebeast

That is you on the left. That is today’s “yutes” on the right.

Baby Boomers: Millenials are just terrible.

Nope! No mechanical engineering. Just suspension is done outside of safety gear and weight reduction

I’m just gonna leave this here so people can get a sense of big the 37mile course is. It can nest neatly all of these tracks from around the world.

Photo #1 shows owner’s perfect grasp of BMW parking procedure.

And now, your moment of zen.

+3/5ths star

I am confused, why is a mechanical nightmare? I have a stock XJ that has gone 300,000 miles with original engine, trans, clutch, etc... The only major non original equipment is a transfer case and a water pump. as well as being very sturdy (mechanically) it is rediculously easy to do anything in the engine bay.

That will be called Canada

As someone who despises the Gumball, I have but one thing to say to Mr Harris

Sounds like Harris really toasted this guy’s...

I still have my pogs. IIIIII don’t throw stuff away. But who can get rid of X-Men gold slammers? A monster, that’s who, and I’m no monster.