His appeal to African-American voters in recent weeks: THINGS ARE TERRIBLE! IF YOU WALK DOWN ANY STREET YOU’LL GET SHOT 25 TIMES! VOTE FOR ME BECAUSE IT CAN’T POSSIBLY GET WORSE!

I’m starting* to think Trump is a pathological liar. He constantly lies about trivial things, his lies are instantly and easily exposed, yet he continues on as if nothing happened. Take for instance all the supposed speakers at the convention. Right after he says Big Ben and Tebow will be there, it’s immediately shot…

Of course he’s full of shit, every single thing he says is a stupid lie. He’ll never debate Clinton in any kind of real neutral setting, he’ll only do it if he can arrange for a moronic circus scene full of screeching idiots who roar over his spastic twitching and dopey insults. He’s a grade-A coward, a sleazy punk, a…

“Not taking it off road are you?”

Did they shut the entire country down so everyone could go to these games? There’s, like, a fifth of the country in the stands.

They do it every ten minutes or so during the game, too. It’s terrifying, and absolutely fantastic.

What to drink you ask??? Well, that will be 2% milk of course. And no, unfortunately we are all out of Hershey’s syrup.

Welcome to the John Rocker Club For Disgraced Professional Athletes, Mr. Shaw! Tonight’s dinner will be all white meat chicken breasts with a white wine sauce over white rice. We will be serving vanilla ice cream for dessert.

After my experience with the Branch Davidians, I’m kind of turned off compound butter.

All electric checker cab please

Don’t blame Microsoft. It’s not their fault the tablets are full of spyware.

Despite bad grades, those kids managed to avoid a C section

I live in Maine. I often marvel at the women in Portland that wear exactly such warm-weather clothing (shorts, stockings, tank tops, skirts, etc) on nights with exactly such chilly weather conditions.

I'll tell this car to turn us around right now!

So I can beat my kids without stopping now? Where has this been all my life???

Every day and every night each member of the IAAF says a silent prayer of thanks to god that FIFA exists.

All excellent suggestions. Consider them implemented, and yourself in charge of Airship Operations. Pick up a jumpsuit. As for why Endeavor, I think it's in slightly more spaceworthy shape than Buran, and, because.

You have two problems: one's solvable, one's not really unless you bend the rules.