I don’t have enough hair left for a mullet, nor am I a woman named Donna, so I don’t think I’m allowed to have one of these even if I wanted one.

It is, whether or not it gets recognized as such.

“...and that is casual.”

‘Harry’s reviews are sublime in their understated enthusiasm.’

“What It’s Like to Drive the Crap Out of and Drag Race A Bunch of Microcars”

When I first glanced at the article, I actually thought it was one of Torch’s mashups. Gotta say, it’s not bad. 

I think it’s arse, but yes, “aahhhz” is much better.

Actually, that would be kinda cool. And do the infotainment like this:

Jalop haiku is good haiku.

Really. You can vote and join the armed forces at age 18, but you can’t buy alcohol. You’re deemed responsible enough to participate in picking your elected officials, and old enough to die in an armed conflict they might start, but God forbid you buy a brew.

... and alert every EMS unit from Michigan to Utah.

Or the vapor lock.

The Sons of Knute have been doing this in Lake Wobegon for years. 

Which will mean parking lots will be fewer and Uber drivers non-existent.

“I fear that this center stack might stretch down and back into a center console, taking the space that would otherwise be legroom for a center passenger. Honda, please, no—we need a small car with a bench seat!”

“The top 5% pay TWO THIRDS of all taxes in the country...”

+1 for “Schutzstaffel das Reich.” I’ve often wondered if I’m the only one who thinks “Department of Homeland Security” has a creepy aryan ring to it.

“The 2020 Alpina B7 is a 4,855 Pound...”

No, no, no. It’s Light Lead, rather than Dark Lead. 

Oh, okay. Thanks.