Report: Ryan Lochte Clarifies Earlier Statements: Says He was Still Held at Gunpoint, but it was definitely Honey-Boo-Busquets Instead of an Unknown Brazilian Assailant.

I like how this whole article on barely gives passing notice to the 7-1 drubbing Brazil took from Germany in 2014, the team they will be playing for the gold. Germany is mentioned, 2014 mentioned, but no connection is made...weird.

No.

That haircut is business in the back, Megan’s Law in the front.

“We just have to kick the chair.”

I would have assumed he would go for the chamber, since he is always gassed in the ring.

And he’ll convert 0% of crucial chances. I see no problem here.

Except they spent 85% of that profit on this dude:

Appalling. By this point in his life, you’d think he’d know that you can’t use your hands in soccer.

Let’s Basque in that gif’s greatness

“The Uni-President 7-Eleven Lions”

It runs in the family. That was Gonzalo’s brother, Jerry Higuain.

This is why Americans shouldn’t adopt soccer. Can you imagine how much worse this would be in Philly?

That wiff at the 1:32 mark might explain why they loss. You gotta finish that layup

This, and the guy hasn’t played in the Champions League for two seasons. It’s all-around insane.

The announcers’ audible lamenting of players failing is something that I 100% could get behind in American sports.

£75M for bottling in the biggest moments on the biggest stages? Hell of a deal. As HighlySelassie said, Juventus win Serie A, but still aren’t good enough to win the UCL.

I get wanting to splash huge cash in the wake of losing Morata, but this isn’t enough of an improvement over what they had to make a huge difference…

This is correct.

€94 million, that's like 1 Andy Carroll, 4 van Winkels and an infinite number of Sanogos.

With or without Higuan, Juventus win Serie A and don’t win Champions League. So...how is he worth the money again? Whatever. All I can say is, at least they’ll get it back whenever Pogba decides to pick a fucking club.