Johnson avoided conviction on the oral sex charge but the jury decided he was in fact guilty of finger penetration.

You can’t use your hands, you idiot.

This Ted Cruz lookin’ motherfucker is the worst.

+1 Defence lawyer.

And 2. The kid will be hailed as a savior. May he escape the fate of Federico Macheda.

Some achievement to spend over $300m net since 2013 and still run out of squad.

Why? There’s a possibility they finish out of the top four. Winning the Europa League would put them into the UCL qualifiers next year. That would qualify as a success to LVG.

Ha! That moment was basically the scene in T2 when The Terminator learns human emotion.

It’s so funny. But then I get sad because I’m an Inter fan and that guy could’ve been something.

“This is pretty jarring.”

I haven’t seen that bad of an angle since the Big Bass Tournament.

It’s not the first time a Chelsea team has had a dubious result this year. Bobby Martinez can commiserate.

First of all, Greg — big fan. Congrats on the fellowship or whatever you just got handed.

It was an accident. Tevez was trying to jump over the GK, but forgot that he’s now 280 pounds and has an 8 inch vertical.

The keeper is being soft. All he needs to do is Apache it up and get back out there.

The crazy thing is, before this happened Ezequiel was considered Sain.

While I would say this is the last straw for Tevez- actually Ezequiel Unsain needs that straw to eat for a while.

If these fuckers pass up the opportunity to elect President Sexwale, I’m going to be pissed.

Some poor sod in the stand had a full cup of blistering hot tea knocked into his face two seconds later.....

It’s like Alien vs. Predator but Legionnaire’s vs. Gonnorhea.