By the way, I read the title as “Aston Martin Shitting Brake Badly Makes My Stomach Hurt”. I need glasses.

Go read Electrek you disgrace.

How many prostitutes offered to blow you during this time with it, only to find out you only have the V8? I heard they like 12-inch— um, I mean 12 cylinders.

I cranked it up and let it roar!

You just reminded me of something!

I would’ve preferred the GTS, but it’s not too bad. NP. All it needs is a 2JZ swap and a Type R-icer badge and it’ll be ready for anything!

Can it fly

Truce. And yeah, I get what you mean about it hurting car sales. They should just drop the whole prediction thing altogether, and Tesla shouldn’t react to it at all, just subtly tell everyone that it’s only a prediction(although anyone who reads CR’s report can clearly see it’s only an estimate) and there’s nothing to…

I saw “yellow car” and “depreciate” and this too.

The world needs more half trolls like us who know when to be real and when to (mostly) fuck around.

And also, it was clearly stated that it was only a prediction. There’s no need to act like they pissed in their Front Loops that day, they should wait until they actually drove it to throw a fit or not say anything at all.

Your name says it all. And also, this isn’t the first time Tesla has tried for attention. I forgot what it was specifically but it’s somewhere here on Jalopnik. Roast me for that, I know it’s pretty stupid to not have all the necessary tools for an argument but hey man I’m tired as hell right now and this is what I…

Is SHE stock? Or does she have full bolt-ons?

Quick question: do you guys do COTD on the weekends? Just wanna know so I can save my cornyass jokes for the weekdays if not. And actually talk about cars for once. Although my jokes are usually car related, making them even more corny. Anyways, do you?

You’re a total moron for that. Have a star.

What a craptacular shitshow. Tesla needs to stop their half-assed attempts to get fucking attention. They’re practically saying, “Consumer Reports sucks ass because they didn’t invite me to their birthday party!

Flame shooting funny car: my CR-V Type R-icer build when I put too many 1000hp VTEC stickers on it.

Moon rocket aimed at your feet. A mixture of insanely fast twerking and feet sex all in one. 10/10 would watch. Was slightly disappointed when I clicked Play on the video and that’s not what came up. Bummer.

I saw 400i and immediately thought BMW. I need help.

Got it. It happens. Mostly to me though.