Baja Fresh is far superior to Chipotle, in fact, fuck Chipotle

Me and a friend have a small hot sauce business and some places have stopped carrying it because some customers keep stealing it. So everyone stop stealing sauce! Particularly if it’s a local brand.

Dude, have you met Trump voters? Trump could shit in their salad and they’d still vote for him. Very loyal, stupid people.

“Swedish food can be unnerving.”

“Hey Drew, as a newly single man in a new city, I’ve been working the dating apps pretty hard recently. However, I’m staunchly anti-Trump, and wouldn’t be able to get serious with anyone else who isn’t. I don’t want to go on a date only to find out that they are in fact a hardcore Republican, but it feels very…

“One time I tried to have Domino’s delivered to a soccer practice. I’d have been better off shooting myself in the temple. That pizza is currently residing in Alaska, for all I know.”

“When Jim Caldwell dies (not that I endorse the idea), they should paint his headstone with a fresco of a punter punting from inside his own 40.”

That must be a new rule with the jersey customization. My friend is a Broncos fan and has hated Tim Tebow since Florida, so as soon as the Broncos drafted him I went on NFL.com and made him a #15 Virgin Air jersey. Actually, now that I think about it it took two tries. They canceled the first order, I guess the trick…