It doesn't have to be a "never ending battle" if his CAPTIVE audiences stop being docile. Maybe if more people talked back to him, he'd eventually get worn out and STFU. How many people is this one asshole annoying/offending? About time HE had to listen to some unwelcome input.

That is SURREAL .

Why don't men just stop losing their hair?

I'd have called the old lady with the crouton a cocksucker and watched her die of a heart attack.

I've never been a waitress myself, but i have a great deal of empathy for them, and always tip very well. If anyone I knew ever threw food at a waitress, or if I ever saw someone at another table throw food at a waitress, I would give that person such a verbal face peel their ears would never stop ringing.

You forgot one obvious ally in your quest: KRAMPUS!!! Whip out Krampus and watch Fox clutch their pearls. He's not nearly as popular in this country as he (He) should be.

Wow. Good call.

I studied in Germany, and I must say — they made me like Christmas. There are whole stores that do NOTHING but nutcrackers.

In both these instances, I'm less pissed about their pushing Christmas than I am about them dissing Halloween.

It's absolutely true that they are — that's why waiters don't like to get shifts that will be comprised mostly of people coming from church Sunday morning.

Nope. First of December at the earliest. It can in no way creep into any other month.

The one correction I would make to your suggestions is to not even shop on the 22nd. Wait until the after-Christmas sales and clean up. If you're celebrating Christ's birth, it's generally thought by historians to have taken place in the spring, so having your celebration a week later is no problem. If you just want…

I was speaking of having female friends, not "having women." Men intent on "having women," often fail to cultivate female FRIENDS, that's why they will never understand women, and are working at cross-purposes with themselves. Most solid, long-term romances are based on true FRIENDSHIP. What I said in my initial post…

The quilting adds an additional WTF factor, on top of suddenly turning into Indiana Jones.

I didn't say "hot," I said "attractive." It's a PUA myth that women are only attracted to "alpha" males. Part of the reason assholes like Eliot Rodger both can't get a date and also have no friends is that he not only had no idea about female attractiveness, he had no idea about MALE attractiveness. The Esquire…

"Beware any enterprise that requires a change of clothing." (Emerson)

Men who are attractive will have a number of women friends, because they know how to talk to women as human beings. Douchebags only have male friends, because they can't/wont see women as people.

And I wonder if any of these accessories com with a job or an interesting life.

It is. Check out straightwhiteboystexting.com.

I would also add to perhaps purge your friend group of obvious douchebags. You may not be one, but if you hang out with them, you get that whiff. This also reiterates the importance of hygiene ...