I would pay good money to hear Chris Christie's dumb voice saying that exact sentence.

I'm from Chicago, I 100% wouldn't know.

Oh the comments were outside of the show - after the street harassment video came out he made an incredibly sarcastic "apology" to all the women he's said hi to on the street, and said what he goes through as a "famous" person with fans asking for pictures and stuff is worse than street harassment (more info here). …

Meh. Misogynistic comments aside, Michael Che flubs way too many lines per week. The two basically never interact with each other. I miss Tina and Amy.

Colin Jost is 100% not funny and I blame him for the shithole that's become Weekend Update. Also I have no idea what is going on in that...segment? above.

This is really all there is to say, isn't it? There's no way to win. Fuck, there's no way to even keep up, much less win.

This years' model or better!

Got em!

Because of course he does, he's a fucking moron. The answer to "should parents vaccinate kids" is always, unequivocally YES. I can't even continue to have this argument with people who are too stupid or too willfully ignorant to understand that.

Yet another fictional doctor telling it how it is:

God fucking Dammit Burt, I'm gonna miss you. I loved you as a commenter and was overjoyed when you got the gig as a writer here. I look forward to seeing some supremely strange sex tips coming from you via Cosmo. I think they'll be able to rival some of my favorite ridiculous Cosmo sex tips (with highlights such…

Oh THANK GOD AND JESUS that the WORLD AMERICA is safe from THOSE DIRTY, DIRTY SLUTS BABY KILLERS

But only after they've "prayed on it extensively"

Plot twist: Adultosaur is actually Mitch McConnell, who is secretly a giant feminist vagina and TSwift fangirl.

A couple of things:

Ugh the fucking passive aggressive smiley face at the end makes me rage even harder than the bullshit entitled thinking that they get to determine if a person gets paid for doing her job or not.

am I missing something here?

There's a whole fucking lot wrong with this situation - the rapists' reaction, the rapists' mom's reaction, the tragic loss of Parson, the fact that her family will never be the same. But in what world does pleading guilty to manufacturing and distributing (respectively) child pornography warrant no jail time…

Oh Madeleine, you don't take your legal drinking age into Hollywood afterparties, either. The legal drinking age there is "can you afford to be there?"