I like how you put yourself in front of the author. I bet the split is also in your favour.

Boy, you guys must really hate libraries because that right there is a torrent IRL because I buy nothing and consume all that content; books, music, movies, etc. for free.

you can see the Flying Elbow Cop thinking “THIS IS IT! THE MOMENT I’VE TRAINED MY WHOLE CAREER FOR! THE PEOPLES ELBOW!!!!”