New condos....

Crap. I’m going to end up in jail for saying it to the tune of Old Macdonald and ending with a woof woof, here and a woof woof there. 

He did get in trouble- the one day suspension was more than plenty. 

Oh, he is going to drop the N word at some point isn’t he? 

“But remember, Obama ended racism!”

I think he would probably get Marla Maples before he ever got Ivana (maybe even before Melania) but you know he would be stumped as fuck if you whipped out a picture of Eric, Tiffany or Barron. 

An abuser will always find their excuse- once I said thank you and smiled to the young man at the drive through window, as you do and that meant I wanted to fuck him.

All of the people announcing they are boycotting Nike were already supposed to be boycotting Nike or did they forget? I mean these derfwangs are so mad at everyone all of the time they can’t even keep their “deeply felt convictions” straight anymore.

He can borrow from former sheriff Clarke and Seb, Bat Nipples Gorka.

This is pretty much my life anyway- I have a clock on the wall that has never worked. The stove clock is never right. I never have my phone near me unless I am playing a game on it and I rarely even remember to look in the corner of my computer.

Sports=black except for golf. 

“A cur’s weakness, properly manipulated, can be a sharp tool.

You know that doesn’t work, right? 

Except the baby was in the house- “...went back in the residence to get her daughter.” 

Oh hey, happy birthday! 

A lovely fellow on twitter is ranting about how women threw themselves at #stompyfoot in the 90's. He was a “playboy” and everyone loved him. Also: this is just publicity for a book, the women he was talking about grabbing by the pussy were groupies and it’s not assault because they “let” him do it and everyone who is…

I am going to catch hell for this and then get dragged to Hell but I happened upon a certain rock star’s porn performance and it was literally the laziest thing I had ever seen in my life.

A friend’s son has decided that he would like to be a surgeon. To that end, he started tightening up his grades and taking enrichment courses, special summer sessions and more in the 8th grade. He plays several sports and discussed taking up a musical instrument to round out his interests. During his freshman year he…

I had to give a statement to police when some nut job woman attacked a man in a parking lot. I did not spell out the word she was flinging with great abandon nor did I speak it out loud when I was initially asked what happened. It is super easy to avoid using that word.

You just say the word “Spanx” and I am hearing Wanda Sykes talking about Esther escaping.