With the Eagles, I think we’re talking grandpas, not dads, at this point. The dads are listening to Pearl Jam and Red Hot Chili Peppers.

GM wins is the best advanced stat.

Oh, tell us more about unreasonable outrage, guy who imagined a backlash in order to bemoan it. See if you can work the phrase “female actress” back in there while you’re at it.

“I bet it’s spelled b-o-r-e-d” is the funnier punchline

Counterpoint: It’s a perfectly pleasant film. Yeah, the jokes are pretty dumb and obvious, but it’s got a congenial energy to it, and the cast is game and appealing. And as for it being “75% gay panic jokes,” pardon me while I execute a Liz Lemon-style epic eyeroll for the ages. I mean, I guess not wanting to get…

Anyone who’s ever belonged to a secret society can tell you that it’s thrilling initially but can become quotidian drudgery if you stay long enough. Eventually you just want to drop the charade and tell the world who you are and what you want.

I think it was completely accidental. Saying Urena hit Acuna on purpose would imply the Marlins had an actual plan in place.

Oh for sure. I still own the New Edition greatest hits group and solo CDs and may have also made a custom Spotify playlist. I still enjoy it. 

It's to avoid accenting the butt. You can't trust a big butt and a smile it's poison.

Those pants are silly, sure, but wearing them is his prerogative.

He was free to express himself. And he was free to get his ass kicked. The system still works. 

Getting your ass kicked by Mike Ness, apparently.

Whoa ty for linking to a video in which all the blue dialogue and also all the other dialogue is bleeped out. I’m a delicate flower.

I wonder though: after this beating did Tim Hildebrand feel like he learned a lesson? Did he say to himself: I was wrong. Did he think: It was me against the world. And I was sure that I’d win. But the world pushed back and punished me for my sins? I mean, Mike did try to warn him of his evil ways. But I guess Tim…

I’m just impressed that a Marlins pitcher actually hit a target at which he was aiming.

The steroids enabled them to work long enough to break their bodies down to the point that they needed opioids just to get out of bed in the morning when they were only in their 40s and 50s.

It’s hard to say, they are still doing big moves and the WWE’s year-round schedule is not helping (and they’re hardly atypical in this.) On the other hand there seems to be a lot less cocaine flying around backstage, and while steroids are probably still around, people aren’t quite as obviously juiced as they were in,…

I love stories about ‘lost’ things - it’s a nice reminder that there are still undiscovered places on our planet or, perhaps more accurately but grammatically questionable, that those places were discovered but then become undiscovered for some reason.

Sorry, it’s Deadspin policy to ridicule anyone seeming to be in support of the Patriots until proven otherwise.

“One of the linebackers went MIA.”