“Mind you, I may be playing fast and loose with the age cutoff” — Roman Polanski

Sure was nice to have a president with such large hands. 

Yeah. As a neutral observer, I wanted to see the humble fans of New England prevail because they always handle victory with unimaginable class.

It’s like they say: If at first you don’t succeed, you’re probably playing for the Nationals. 

The Nationals are an underachieving team...

“Pitchers can’t protect their skulls unless their skulls have already been cracked open before” is one of baseball’s unwritten rules.

This is why I stick to mushrooms when I plan to pick a fight with the cops.

“It’s a shame they can’t replace that guy’s steering wheel with a keyboard.” - Tom Scharpling 

You guys are completely missing the biggest aspect of this story.  Between Syndergaard and Cespedes, the Mets have created a new roster category:  the one-day abled list.

Home of the Delmarva Shorebirds, single-a affiliate of the Baltimore Orioles. Go birds!

“I want to play for the 76ers”
“Wait, I don’t want to play for an NBA team”

Pretty sure even n words like his pizza.

I owe all the MLS fans an apology. You claimed MLS was just the same as a lot of European leagues and I didn’t believe you.

We drunks could use some rebranding on this.

Didnt he kill all those people at Jong-Unstown?

Who the hell is Jim Jong-Un?

Kim Jong-Un’s Kentucky-born half-brother?

Those four had enough speed to make the USMNT starting XI

Yeah I recall all the time Obama said fake news or refused to answer Fox News questions.

It’s someone else’s job to draw it back. And whatever he’s paid, it ain’t enough.

And they’re gaining more fans everyday. It’s not unusual now to see them fill their stadium with Athletics supporters.