They take a lot of pride in their work.

Jesus, Donald. Don’t be a bitch just because you were told your boyfriend couldn’t come.

Incredibly accurate. Everyone knows that Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan is the center of the universe!

After 50 years I am surprised the Leafs still know how to hoist a cup

Yes, but...there is the distinct possibility that he is doing something specifically to provoke extremists as an excuse to propose more racist anti-Muslim tactics. That is my biggest concern with this. If wasn’t convinced he is an idiot incapable of planning or nuance, I would think this was an attempt to pour gas…

Counterpoint: oh yes they would have.

...Eh, I’ll pass on this one. It doesn’t seem like it’s fair to mock a speech impediment caused by dentures, especially when we have so much more to work with.

I’ve been watching a lot of those how-to-cook-a-particular-dish videos on Facebook, and one was for bite-sized Bloomin’ Onions, and this particular recipe required precisely cutting like two dozen pearl onions, and that’s when I stopped watching the video.

“Shuts Down” is synonymous with “Season Finale”?

I don’t want to make excuses for anyone, but seeing how one party is lining up solidly behind a pedophile and the other wants the resignation of one of their more popular members, well, I think I’m beginning to see why one of those parties is running every branch of the government and the other isn’t. The one gun law…

Unfortunately, the moral high ground these days is located in the unemployment line.

South Park sucks ass now.
That last season was just a mess, and what’s worse is knowing that they specifically leave it all at the last minute to make the show as current as possible.
BUT they were specifically trying an experiment that would allow them to recycle the same damn jokes for an entire season. Those stupid…

Did you get any closure from the made-for-TV movie/series pilot Project ALF?

To be fair, it’s not really that hard to not enjoy Travolta’s work.

Wait a minute, Great White North isn’t a Canadian Great White cover band?

...and as the Alt-Right woman lay dying of her wounds, she asked of the Alt-Right male, “Why have you done this to me?”. The Alt-Right male smirked and answered, “Look bitch, you knew I was a snake.”

Had to reach so far back for that Sting reference that you probably dislocated your shoulder.

Worst place to be hungover?

That’s how we know there’s no aliens hidden in Area 51. That shit would have been on Twitter by January 21.

Mariah Carey could afford to keep dining on Fabergé eggs for breakfast for the foreseeable future.