Hey, everybody, I am trying to get a kickstarter going for my charity that jams a pickaxe through your car engine.

I hate these movies!

Obviously your grandmother was not Fred Durst.

Yes,  That is correct.  Unlike Alabama, the Phillies pay their athletes.

I sit in left field. I love the new Bull’s location.

The Wilpons lost their shirts 10 years ago, but nobody celebrated like this.

My wife started to enjoy going to games when nobody was there.  She has loved the past 5 years.  No lines for a beer.  No lines for the bathroom.  The staff at CBP have seemed overwhelmed all season.  

Let’s not relive the 2-inning discussion they had about Marcus Stroman’s height. And his catchphrase - HGHMDMA

I’ve had a partial plan for 10 years. So I went to games in that 2013-2017 time period. And I barely remember the players. It was like 4 years when the Phillies didn’t exist. And I check the draft picks made in that time and the prospects acquired in trades for Hamels, Rollins, Utley, Pence and Victorino. And they got…

There was a game about 2 weeks ago. Eflin started and got roughed up early in the game. Then they brought Pivetta in from the bullpen and he got roughed up.

The Phillies broadcast crew has slipped up a few times and stated that Kapler plans his bullpen usage before the game starts.  They will say things like “Kapler is looking to get 2 innings from Suarez tonight.”  So sometimes he pulls the starter early, other times he leaves the starter in waaaaaaaaay to long.  

So like anybody who works customer service or sales?

Every single position player for the Phillies is regressing this year. And the only time players show improvement is when they go on the IL and get away from Kapler for a few weeks. There are so many injuries in the bullpen because Kapler overworks any pitcher who shows a sign of success. Veterans players do not…

Rodriguez hit that ball like it was a Gatorade jug.

“Team that drops 2 of 3 to the worst team in the NL eeks out a victory over 2nd worst team in the NL, then decides to complain about fans.”

I have an uncle who struggles to keep names correct.

I miss Adam Yauch.

“They’re going to waste this championship window that they’ve created,”

We told my son that kayaks on top of the car means somebody is a bad driver. The person always crashes into lakes, rivers and the ocean, so they put boats on top of their car. And then they use the kayaks to help them escape.

When I read the piece, it just seemed like another Baby Boomer crying about how Millenial didn’t have to work as hard as he did.