makes u think

You can bake one cake but it does not make you a baker.

Sometimes I remember that I used to watch Mike & Mike every morning between 2008 and 2010 and it makes me so embarrassed. Twenty-somethings are fucking dumb.

No, it’s good.

you can learn all about sentences on twitter:

I was perfect for this except I don’t know what a sentence is,

You’ve heard of Twitter.

takes some monster balls to make that call, for sure

The Detroit Lions have a play called the Roseanne Barr, a very unattractive play where Matt Stafford literally shits his pants and then throws an unadvised lateral to a RB that results in a fumble.

He got elbow deep, into the crease, before he pulled out!

On the flip side, it gave us a fucking great burn from the local Detroit paper.

When reached for comment, Drew Magary scooped $400 caviar onto a purple and yellow hot dog

That’s awesome. It’s good for them, it’s good for him, and honestly it’s good for the game. They saw a generational player in danger of falling through the cracks, and moved to put him in a healthy and functional situation for more or less the first time in his career. Whatever they get out of it, he and the rest of…

My boss suggested this morning that LeBron should probably be retroactively be given the last 4 MVP awards.

I can’t disagree.

Just remember that Lebron dragged this same roster to the NBA finals.

If you gave the Chiefs an option every time whether to take that touchdown with however much time on the clock or for it to be incomplete and then the Chiefs can try to march the ball downfield more slowly, I think—now I’m no mind-reader, but I am pretty sure about this—I think they’re gonna take it *every time* and…

Guys seriously, can we just for ONCE, give props to Taylor when she does something right? You don’t have to crown her Queen of Jezebel, but legit, this was a good thing she did. Today I’m thinking of all her LBGT fans who must be feeling real fucking awesome about their fave sticking up for them politically in this…

I swear.  Taylor does what y’all beg her to do and then you still find a way to shit on her for it.  Either you want her to speak up politically or you don’t. Pick one. 

Buddy, it’s the only reason to care about college football.

Does this approach also work for college football? I am surrounded by Michigan and Notre Dame fans at my place of business, and I place more importance on their sadness after losses than on any of my job’s responsibilities.