Abra cadaver!

She was always a horrible dancer and nothing has changed. She does that ‘I’m a gorilla stalking my prey in the jungle’ thing on stage.

One time I was on 6AM flight and the dude sitting next to me ate a can of tuna fish and three hard boiled eggs for breakfast. That definitely deserved having the cops called.

He is an abuser, he will not just let her go.

A divorced dad who also quit the barber for a stylist named Amber who sells him a lot of rejuvenating hair products.

Why does Dr. Luke always look like a divorced dad who just bought a leather jacket because he’s “trying to get back out there”?

I can’t wait for all the BENGHAZI! people to not talk about this. Ever.

But lying about it repeatedly, in person and via surrogate, puts the new president’s priorities and lack of perspective in context. He could have gone high and not addressed it at all, or he could have been petty but accurate and pointed out the enormous crowds he drew during his campaign. (He could even have said…

Can’t watch the trailer, but I hope this is the soundtrack:

Oh, no. The only vaccine she would consider was rubella, because she didn’t want us to hurt any “pre-born” children we might infect. Later in life, she also got heavily into the anti-fluoridation movement, even appearing at their booth at the County Fair and making me die a few thousand tiny deaths.

I would just like to state that at one point in my 20s, I quit my day job to be a dancing spoon in a tour of Beauty & the Beast.

Smallpox was a thing in those days, you know!

copious amounts of weed.

With a tiny bit of asshole reflux added at the end...

Ben Carson is a yawn made sentient.