Lurve the dress but the hat’s a little meh to me. I wish it was more angular rather than traditionally round. But then again, I’m sitting here in a monkey-print Slanket, so what the hell do I know?

As a fellow Iowan, I 100% concur. I’m happy letting literally any other state take on the effort.

My caucus site doesn’t even have chairs! So the only option is standing around for hours until your back hurts, or sitting on the floor and nearly suffocating from the body heat and farts emanating from the herds of people standing around you for hours. Just like the founding fathers intended.

“To love someone long-term is to attend a thousand funerals of the people they used to be. The people they’re too exhausted to be any longer. The people they don’t recognize inside themselves anymore. The people they grew out of, the people they never ended up growing into. We so badly want the people we love to get…

Yes, and I’m sure no humans whatsoever are siphoning funds off the bank account of a fucking cat.

I used to teach at a community college, and one day I got a bananapants 750-word email from a guy who walked past my classroom when I was lecturing, apparently thought I was the hottest shit he’d ever seen, then waited until class let out so he could ask one of my students what my email address was. (This was 15 or so…

>He just got $275 million dollars from CNN for libel.<

I haven’t seen the show so I can’t comment on much, but what the hell is tucked under that dude’s left arm? Is it another dog? Or is it part of his tacky-ass jacket?

Gah. The Madame Tussauds docent needs to reposition them so they’re all looking the same way. Sloppy staging! Sad!

I would add Evil Dead 2 and Breakin’ 2: Electric B00galoo to the list of better sequels.

I wrote my Masters thesis in part on Freeway as well as its not-really-a-sequel Freeway II: Confessions of a Trick Baby (starring Natasha Lyonne, and definitely nowhere as good as the first). It’s so cool to see Freeway get some love. Thanks for posting this, Emily!

I mean, I’m pretty okay with a manager telling an actress to dress a certain way to audition for a character who also dresses that way, especially if Reese had never played that type before. Unless the “dress sexy” advice also included “parade in front of a panel of horny executive producers” or “meet Harvey Weinstein…

Why has no one mentioned that Santa is also holding a coke straw? It’s disturbing me that no one is mentioning it, even more than the fat rails.

I watched the bennies->weed->heroin short last night. Hilarious! “This is where the real party is happening.” Cut to four bored goths in an unfinished basement sitting around an Oscar the Grouch garbage can.

Mine was the one where Regina took one sniff of cocaine and immediately died. 

Thanks for posting that top pic. I’ve been living with the painful experience of growing out my bangs for the past couple months, but now I see I’ve merely been rotating between the Jessica and the Elizabeth. Today I’m definitely a Jessica.

At least she’s one Republican in power who we don’t have to worry about supporting New Gilead. Small blessings.

Ugh, tell me about it. My mom is a huge CBS fan for some reason, and I was subjected to shows that I’ve never, ever heard of before. The Unicorn? Mom? Carol’s Second Act? I thought Two and a Half Men was the worst show ever, but nope. Usually my mom has an excellent sense of humor, but after this weekend, I’m starting…

Please don’t cancel cheese trays. “Who cut the cheese” jokes are a time-honored holiday tradition in my family. Mostly because we have nothing else in common to talk about.

I’m a little confused/disturbed by his swim trunks. Are there some sort of Photoshop shenanigans going on? There doesn’t appear to be a crotch to them, so it looks like a tiny tiny skirt. Did it accidentally get erased in the dodge & burn dick enhancement process? And how does one even swim in those things without…