On Wednesdays we wear black pleather jumpsuits.

No idea on the first couple, but Kaia Gerber is Cindy Crawford’s daughter (which I only know because she’s the spitting image of her) and Austin Butler played Elvis. 

I just wouldn’t want to be the person in blue bike shorts with a giant arrow pointing at my ass. No snark, just empathy.

I just wouldn’t want to be the person in blue bike shorts with a giant arrow pointing at my ass. No snark, just empathy.

That’s quite an unfortunate header photo.

When Tanya Harding hired someone to hit Nancy Kerrigan in the knee with a hammer, my dreams of becoming an Olympic ice skater were sadly cut short. Never EVER give up!

The “lodge brothers” line is hinting that they’ve both finalized their divorces, which couldn’t be said outright in movies in 1956 because of the Hay’s Code. “Going to Reno” was also a coded phrase for this. There were certain states that would grant quickie divorces, but you had to establish residence there for a…

Not to mention that with Crystal in charge, staff writers would finally get free childcare for their unaborted daughters. Think of all the tennis lessons they’ll be able to afford!

Sad, they had such chemistry together.

Wow, you found a way to make slideshows even more obnoxious. Great job!

If you hate your children and want to scar them for life in the most ridiculous way possible, look no further. Simi Valley’s hottest new school is Donda Academy. This place has everything: floor sushi, acid water, sad recess, bathmophobia, and beige.

Seconded. 

I am proudly pro-choice and have chosen abortion for a past pregnancy, but I have to say this article is a bunch of bullshit. First of all, you criticize the new owner for “brushing aside” the history of the building, but what do you expect him to do? Hang a commemorative plaque? He’s running a business. And as bougie…

I believe the international sex crimes expert claim, but probably not in the context he intended.

Agreed. These models deserved way better. The thigh straps in the pregnant look are sort of cool, but the rest of the outfits look like they were crafted in a found-materials challenge on RuPaul’s Drag Race and that bitch is about to sashay away.

I subscribed to Thrasher magazine for two years in junior high because I was in love with a skater boy who never talked to me and probably didn’t know I existed. Just on the off chance that we’d cross paths and I could drop some knowledge about Christian Hosoi or Gator and he’d fall in love with me.

I can, but in your scenario, the judgement would be that the man is a borderline pedophile skeeze and the 24-year-old woman is being taken advantage of even though she’s an adult capable of making her own decisions about who she dates and consents to have sex with. Duh!

Sorry, why is this a story? Clearly this woman needs mental health assistance, not elevated social media visibility. Please don’t encourage shit like this.

But as a 46-year-old former grad student from Iowa, I must say that Crystal Jewell is my all-time favorite troll. I really connect with her grippingly realistic anecdotes about how she lost a fortune in crypto and now has to provide childcare for the daughter she wanted to abort in the barely third-world conditions…

I was expecting a mention of Duchamp’s Fountain, a Dadaist work that is literally just a urinal laying on its side--meant to address the whole “what is art” question. A bunch of people have peed in it, and one guy attacked with with a hammer. All claim that Duchamp himself would have approved, so it’s not technically…