That’s how I feel whenever people say that crap! Did your father sit you down to compare your genitals side by side? I really fucking hope not otherwise you probably have a lot of other problems.

why would you bother with the apple juice part if you’re not going to make it rhyme????? Rich people can’t even be clever in their cuteness

I like how she made it real passive when it comes to thanking: “They never give America credit” but real personal when it comes to blaming: “start blaming people who had nothing to do with slavery for the sin of slavery.” Bitch you can’t ask for credit for ending slavery in 1865 but not take blame for perpetuating…

That’s the thing though is that if the owners are making the game unwatchable then there won’t be anyone to make a vanity purchase or they won’t be willing to pay as much for that vanity purchase. It’s not a luxury item if no one really wants it.

It might be funny to go home and tell your SO about how this fat woman was falling out of her shirt when she came to the door, you don’t tell that woman to consider being on reality TV to her damn face, that’s so unprofessional and rude for no reason.

Sounds pretty store brand to me.

Ok, we gotta narrow it down for you. Do you volunteer at majority-minority schools or just donate to Race for the Cure?

There are so many middle aged white women who wear the slip on ones.

I love taking the stairs when there’s a line for the escalator, then I can feel truly superior!

Thank you for helping me understand why I don’t like people who wear skechers.

I believe the point is that if you don’t euthanize your pet they won’t be poisonous to any other animal that discovers their body.

It definitely says 5 all throughout but I was just going with what the mom said in that caption, not realizing it was supposed to be describing an old picture. My point still stands though, kids are funny as hell and I love them.

What this will lead to is candidates campaigning in major urban areas. The way that our economy has been going everyone is moving into major cities anyway so I don’t see a problem with that at all. Why should people in OH and PA get more attention from candidates than people in KS or MO or WV as they do now?

“I asked him if anyone asked him to make that face. He said, ‘No, I just made it.’”

Hershey’s is to chocolate as velveeta is to cheese: Extremely American and really only meant for consumption in a melty form.

Ohmahgawd I’m so in the mood for a big bar of english toffee now!

yes!

So much emphasis on this. Teenagers know when they’re being lied to and they know when they’re missing out on fun stuff, but they don’t know to watch out for all the risks. Or they just go with their gut feeling, which is how people believe you can’t get pregnant the first time you have sex.

Just imagine a grown man reading a tweet calling him an “udder-ly worthless criminal” and getting upset about it. hahaha

And they made Louisiana into a backwards ankle instead of just having the red guy on the left and making LA the foot it is meant to be!