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Fascinating Noel. So tell me...when's the last time you made any good music? Or did anything besides be a complete fucking wanker.

Wait. Just...wait. "Monica" Warhol?

me too! then i met jared leto when i was 18, and he was such a douche that my boner completely deflated

He might be a douche but I'm a sucker for a good guitar player. I like his music and I'm ok with that, haha. What a fun way to spend your birthday!

You know, it kind of always makes me sad to see old family photos of the Kardashians, because they seem like a fairly normal (if very rich) family in them. Like, "Santa Stop Here" signs? How perfectly Pottery Barn of them! That card could go on Pinterest and get a bunch of likes and repins and shit. (Even though

I kind of have a soft spot for John Mayer and I don't think it will ever go away do to this-

The Olympic Track and Field Sprinters (everything from 400 and down) would like to have a word with you. Men and women.

Diver. Olympic diver. But basically, all watersport athletes.

Soccer players tho.

Former child star Mara Wilson wrote an article for Cracked back in May that I thought was really interesting. It's not an insight into the Disney machine specifically, but it does really help illustrate what it's like to be a, well, child star.

Those Demi Lovato details just seem so tacky. How must she feel, reading that her ex-boyfriend basically thought of their relationship as a showmance, and found her (very serious problems) burdensome?

I'm very happy for him not only because he did a brave thing coming out as bi, but because he found someone that he feels safe, secure and loved by. THAT is what we should all strive for in our relationships and I'm glad someone has found that.

Ain't no body like an Olympic swimmer's body.

Yeah, and his next wife was a teenager when they met and I think by the time she turned 30 wasn't he basically done with her. Heck, I'm not from Chicago (but many o of my friends are) and I thought the fact that he trolled high schools was not any kind of secret (and probably still does).

I'm picturing my family in the same pic and giggling hysterically.

She looks like Chyna.

A true friend would have been all "Dude, you are not Shirley Temple, do something about that single curl in the center of your forehead"

Look up his history with Aaliyah. That plus the verified case of child rape equal a pedophile.

I feel like it's very easy to blame Disney, but there are a few things that should be pointed out

Sorry but I don't support this man and I wish the Black community (and everyone else) would stand up more when Black women and girls are sexually abused.