But, you see, then Mr. Simmons had a daughter and became a feminist. And that was the day we finally achieved complete gender equality.

Bill Simmons: Okay, since you’re a girl, I’ll walk you thru this

Those three snowflakes showed remarkable poise sitting next to that large black man. Impressive.

You mean the city that employed this TGI Fridays server to be sheriff has law enforcement officers who don’t always tell the truth?

That’s clearly Melissa McCarthy playing Sean Spicer.

I want more data on the Venn diagram intersection of “MAGA hat assholes” and “huge NBA fans”

Oddly, it doesn’t even look like an official hate hat. Like, he went out and got a knock-off one or something...

OF COURSE one of her children is named Jaxson.

Of course that old coot is wearing a MAGA hat at an indoor event. Of course he is.

You say emaciated, I say predatory animal with large teeth and claws that will do anything to eat and survive.

Our bodies are not built to fight large cats. We have thin skin that doesn’t do a good job protecting our vitals from large claws and huge teeth. We’re good at problem solving and throwing things, and we’re built to do some physical things quite well, but fighting large cats and bears is not what we excel at.

Ronald Reagan was president in the throes of Alzheimer’s and there are airports named after him.

Jesus christ he is a fucking moron. We are ruled by a moron.

Bartolo Colon nearly ruined his career with fork knife but he returned bigger and better than ever.

Based on the name and the religious affiliation, they may well have been running from someone who hated based upon racial lines. Weird...

What’s great is that he isn’t even the MOST racist lawyer...because he’s Jewish so there is definitely a Trump Supporter out there who not only hates everyone he hates...but also hates him.

I’m going to go way out on limb and guess that the first Schlossbergs to come to the US didn’t speak fluent English.  

If the NY Post is giving you a hard time about racially insensitive remarks then you truly are the bottom of the barrel.

Just in time for Ed O’Neill to jump on the reboot train. Married... With Children, here we come!