Not a bad apology, though I’m sure it never would have happened without the backlash. He learned his lesson, at least: don’t badmouth keira-level stars with spotless reps to stroke your own ego.

So, she totally rebuffed his flirting and he’s taking his hurt fee-fees to the media, right?

Oh I like that. Or if Jo Jo had a cat, she could have been like “get my cat out of a tree, like firemen do.” And watching a bunch of full grown men trying to coax an angry cat from a tree would be some good fucking TV.

I refuse to Google this nonsense.

I have just remembered that I once got drunk and had an online fight with a teenager of my acquaintance about which was the best starter Pokémon so I feel like I have lost the moral high ground now.

Not to be 103% shallow, but that guy is the grossest, leathery, oily looking douchebro I’ve ever seen. I wouldn’t fuck him for all the Bananas in Ecuador.

Her name is Rita Ora

There’s always drama in the banana stand.

White jeans are the curse Yolanda Foster has put on all of us for not believing in her lyme journey.

You know exactly what it is: a foul and contemptible lie.

I’m guessing he views anyone and everyone who isn’t just interested in his as a narcissist. I’m guessing this conversation has happened before:

You’re the kind of person who makes me not want to wear heels. “Don’t judge yourself by that shit” but then you go on about judging “silly chicks” not being “fucking bosses” in heels.

Maybe I’m just trying to convince myself that this didn’t really happen, but is it very likely anyone would insert a tampon they found unsealed?

Why do I do these things

And always remember to S.I.N.G.:

HItting women in that K-spot. That’s like 5 more than the g-spot, could you imagine? Cablowey!!!!!!!

Are there any more romantic words in an Instagram caption than “ride bareback” and “blow loads?”

me during these updates instead of a popcorn gif

This is a reasonable and correct take and has no place in Kinja.

I’m fine with Bernie staying in the race to accumulate votes and show Democrats that there is broad, national support for a progressive agenda. I am not alright with him staying in the race in a desperate bid to win.