America: a word created by a German cartographer working in France to honor an Italian explorer to name a continent colonized by Spain and Portugal, used by residents of the United States to describe how exceptional they are.

Maybe they had a religious objection to vertical stripes, in which case they’re about to become heroes in Texas.

Totally true on all points. He became a pretty fervent anti-slavery advocate during the post-Revolutionary wave in abolition (1780s-late 1790s or so), but he didn’t reject the institution until pretty late in his career.

There’s a book on the Jesuits owning slaves (“Jesuit Slaveholding in Maryland 1717-1838”). Carroll’s valet was an enslaved fellow named Alexis. The order also owned slaves beyond Carroll’s personal servants.

John Carroll owned a slave too! I’m thinking you’re right, that no college had an unblemished founder (except maybe Penn — Franklin was pretty cool for a scheming syphlitic self-promoter).

All you need to live alone: confidence, a bit of a sense of adventure, a realization that no matter how fucked everything seems nothing is actually fucked, self-forgiveness, enough money for rent and ramen, and a firm understanding that the vertigo you’re feeling is because you’re on an upward trajectory. You’ll be…

Tell him ASAP. If he takes it badly, it doesn’t matter. If he takes it well, you’re off the hook. Sounds like a win/win rather than further communication with someone who bores you. The odds are practically zero that he’ll take the rejection better if more time passes.

There is perhaps nothing I miss more about my carefree 20s than long road trips with friends. Savor it, take a pile of pictures, and if you read a book during it you’ll find that the next time you read that book, all those memories of where you were will come flooding back. And when you drive through upstate SC, wave…

If you bang him, proceed immediately to the health care provider of your choice. There is a ~ 4% chance he doesn’t give you something itchy, weepy, rashy, or worse.

This video was uploaded by someone to Youtube by someone named Micah P. Diamond and her accent sounds like Southern California to my ears. Perhaps that will narrow the geography down enough to identify this Kebab Harpy.

While you’re piling on Stanford’s founder, let’s not forget that Northwestern was founded by the guy who is widely blamed for the Sand Creek Massacre, acting as cheerleader while white folks butchered Native Americans during his term as governor of Colorado Territory.

I can’t wait for the cavalcade of headlines:

I don’t know if this is a triumph or humiliation story. Like some of the really great ones above, perhaps this is a little bit of both.

Presidential candidate and forgotten potato with arms and legs found in the back of the pantry Donald Trump.

That was my first thought also. She’s basically an actress who got paid to play a part in a commercial.

Exactly. The system is so ancient that it makes the common day to day business we all take for granted nearly unworkable. Can you imagine if you had two email accounts, one of which had 80% of your emails, the other of which was composed of mostly total waste of time bullshit and a smidgen of really important stuff?…

Exactly. Petraeus was taking top secret level information that could get Americans killed and passing it out to a journalist he was sleeping with. Hillary was hitting the respond button on an email about a discussion she had with a foreign ambassador about manners. Different by orders of magnitude. But don’t take my…

Lawn darts.

As a former radio DJ who used to broadcast live from the local strip club enough that I ended up with my own desk in the office, I can confirm Mr. Flow’s story that this is exactly how it happens. Ask any puker who is now a radio DJ how they started and you have a 50/50 shot of hearing this exact same story.

The best way to hit on girls at the gym is to be married and not go to the gym.