Unfortunately Big Pumpkin is not the problem. It's the people we know and love... I'm totally fine with pumpkin flavored stuff, it's pretty damn good sometimes. But I was just saying how I'm getting a little tired of the predictability of the posts about it around this time of year. I can count on a few per day about…

The biggest problem with the over abundance of pumpkin spiced bullshit is the fact that at least 75% of it tastes like artificial crap that was created by a chemist who lost his tastebuds in a horrific lab accident involving a bunsen burner and s'mores. Or like seasonal candles. The other 25%, though, is pure heaven.

Toss them all up in the air at once

GAAAAWlee. If only I lived in Nooo York Citeh, I'da done knowed what "kale smoothies" are. Not that I'd want one. Because thems there thangs are for smart, skinny city folk and I'ms justa normal joe who don't go eatin' fancy green things.

My son recently did a book report on Bonnie and Clyde. Here's his opening paragraphs.

The entire British Museum, really.

If everyone is nude; nobody is nude.

Fuck Michael Gove. Fuck him with a claw hammer. Literally every time he opens his mouth he comes out with some bullshit that basically amounts to "things were better in the 50s."

I really thought the hedgehog was going to fly past the screen on a string. Disappointed me, but probably better for the hedgehog.

See, Miley, THAT'S how you constantly stick your tongue out and be cute about it.

WHY THE FUCK IS HE HATIN BEYOND THE GRAVE?

Available at fine re-tail-ers near you, butt not for long!

I used to peruse Regretsy (RIP) when I was bored (and I'm using the correct definition of "peruse" here). There's a lot of nudity on Etsy! You can also get pasties.

I continue to be amazed by what you can buy on Etsy.

My parents literally wore themselves out with all that nonsense. They were older when they had us so I guess they were products of their environments. I think they just failed to realize (or have faith) they had pretty decent kids to begin with. But if you talked to my dad back then, he also would have used this…

Yeah! And then carnivals! I don't like carnivals! And laughter! And while we're at it, puppies aren't really all that great!

SEVEN MARY THREE GETS OVERLOOKED BY THE MUSIC INDUSTRY BECAUSE FEMINAZIS DON'T LIKE TO MELLOWLY ROCK OUT.

OMG you're right; Lindy meant that totally 100% seriously. She had no idea that white people ever went to jail. Thank god you were here to tell her. Now she knows. Phew. Saved.

I find it endlessly amusing that these GOP douche canoes are constantly yelling about how Obama is a Muslim and Hilary is a lesbian, like that automatically makes them unfit for the presidency. They can't even fathom the idea that their bigotry is not the law of the land.

"The book is prime bait for critics exasperated with mainstream feminist conversations that focus on the concerns of privileged white women. . ."