We are an early 30's, very photogenic, and completely idiotic couple.

Yogurt is very important to us. It's 1/3 of our GDP according to the amount of yogurt commercials I see everyday.

Hey hey, settle down now. In the original script for this version, Dorthy was a Sharknado.

Never desired, always unwarranted.

And the sister site for the depressed: CRAPPIER.

You're right, I am having a hard time coming up with a scenario where "This would be better if The Dude were here" is not an appropriate reaction.

Batzimman. Bammerman. Zimbatman.

That looks like a Cosby Half-Shirt.

It was that or coconuts.

wow i'd never heard of 'flowers in the attic' but i've been reading the wikipedia plot summaries SINCE THIS ARTICLE POSTED

In Soviet Russia, monkey spanks you!

This argument gets made every. single. time. there is an article about breastfeeding. And then every. single. time. commenters have to painstakingly explain that breastfeeding is nothing like taking a shit no matter how many times someone whines that it is, that breastfeeding is sanitary, that you are no more in…

Exactly. I mean GOOD LORD NOT AWKWARD AND WEIRD.

We are hair twins! But just fraternal hair twins, because I'm only wavy, not curly. Sigh.

If you feel ashamed, it should only be because it was binder clip Baba Yaga, not 6-pack holder.

David Bowie's passport gives me a Major Tom.

I am sure you've already thought of this, being the fashion forerunner that you are, but here's a tip: That Hip-Hop T-Shirt would look AMAZING with a pair of Payless pumps with the soles painted with red tempera paint.

Since I can infer from your duck comment that you think I am, in fact, a cunt, I have this to say:

It improved my day no end!

twatwaffle will never get old. It will outlive the cockroaches.