I love when a soccer fan tells you that the Yankees are up 3-1 but his beloved DC United lost two-nil because, you know. 

That’s really funny. Sorry, it can’t be fun chasing down Trump supporters’ challenges with math.

To be fair, he didn’t invite him to dinner, just to come by for a few minutes. Which is long enough to call him a bedbug, watch his neck veins pop out, thank him for his hospitality and head home. (Jim Rome and Jim Everett redux.)

He would want to do it there anyway, whether he owns it or not

Trump wants to increase the voting power of his tribe, Coastal Asshole.

Because during the postseason he was busy?

Multiple funnies going on here but I laughed out loud at the thought of this wedding invite:

won’t take Stephens up on his invitation to dine at his house

Is this really non-guaranteed money? Hard to believe the NBAPA would accept that (but I don’t really know shit about the intricacies of NBA contracts)

Even if it’s about a man not actually dying, it’s still about a guy who’s willing to be honest about his depression and challenges, football-related and not, in the months after getting fired. Thompson’s take is the shittiest I’ve read on Deadspin in a while.

That’s funny, but Ditka has morphed in recent years from humorless extremely successful guy to humorless right-wing asshole and something of a laughingstock.

Yes. Pretty douchey take, frankly.  

This article might better be titled “SI Writer Reminds Us That Fired Coach Is Human with Feelings; Deadspin Writer Says Fuck That”

Big news: Investor talks up sinking company his fund owns 3 percent of.

I’d be shocked, SHOCKED to find out that new rubes are signing up but that the club is pretending they aren’t, on the basis of some bullshit loophole that nobody but Trump believes is valid or legal. 

This model makes it clear that that is one weird-ass way to build a building, leaving floors half-built all over the place. 

Holy shit what an idea! Why don’t they just construct the whole plane out of the black box material?

“The Freezer” would have been a much better name.

Trump would go with thing 1 until it arrived at his table at which time he’d insist he’d ordered thing 2. 

He only uses it to deal with the trauma of Marshawn doing this: