So, why do babies need lawyers. Do babies with outties sue their doctor. Or are there a lot of accidents during circumcisions. It has got to be a very small field for your expertise. But the alternative to your expertise does not look good.

Farts are Awesome.

“It was the dog! I saw his butthole open up. I thought he was winking at me!”

Actually, I’d be more concerned with figuring out how to make them less audible. Even the foulest-smelling fart, if silent, can be blamed on someone else.

Thank you!

No funnel required on modern oil bottles.

Sadly, the IRS scammers have been prerecorded. How impersonal! The least they could do is put a real human on.

I’m so happy I finally got one of the faux IRS calls from a real person (instead of the recordings that I keep getting). I got to yell “YOU’LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE PIGS!” and hang up on him.

Alternatively, do what I accidentally did about 10 years ago when I lived in Florida...hit it with a car at 65 mph. SmugAardvark: 1 - Alligator: 0