SMH, it’s never the guys you expect

Eli, sadly, was not invited

And yet somehow, in terms of career humiliations, this barely ranks in Kiffin’s top five.

“Help me!”

I would maybe do a tea towel party favor, because that’s at least something you can use. But then I think about what it would cost, and I go “fuck, no, this isn’t a child’s party—NO FAVORS!”

You’re going to need that at the Taco Bell wedding.

J.Lo is that friend who, after a break-up, says “I need to stop being a serial monogamist and date ME for a change!” and then moves in with a new guy a month later.

Maybe they should makes some rules about people tweeting from the White House.

It is frightening how much the Republicans want to end the transparency of the democratic process.

My dining room is more star-studded than that inauguration will be.

I can’t imagine a worse reason to maintain a relationship – or bring children into the world – than my perceived financial self-interest.

And yet those same fates happen just as often to people who are married and have children. I think it would be a lot worse to be sitting there alone in the nursing home knowing your immediate family doesn’t care about you.

Over 60 years old here… relationships have come and gone, but at least I can say I’ve escaped the legal and financial consequences of marriage.

I don’t remember it being this controversial when God was a white woman. And Canadian.

Taco that craps ice cream 2020

I sat across from her in her office in Milan a few times, as a model. It was terrifying. She suffered no fools. And yet, what a show she made of being a powerful woman who was utterly at home in her power.

Diana, your work is incredible and important and thank you.

Yes. Prison conditions are uniformly fucking terrible. They are often worse for black inmates, but prison reform should be a universal cause.

You know I’m torn on this! As a woman and person of color it’s great for ME. I mean how nice will it be to just be handed a high paying writers gig without doing any work at all or having any talent, you know? I could call up a few late night shows and have a job tomorrow, no resume or writing samples required!