Have you heard about those new phone bags they're using at certain shows now? Where they bag your phone in a bag only they can open so you technically can't use it but can still see if someone is trying to contact you in case you need to go handle something. It's not a flawless system, but it's much better than this.

Thank you for thinking I might be cool, but no. I'm definitely not. It's a G-something. It's a G-something that actually broke after exactly one year (weirdly RIGHT when the warranty was up) and had to be replaced with the newest model G-something that will probably also break in a year.

Yeah, weirdly no one is fighting me for me LG phone either? What gives, guys?

That's lucky. I think the last concert I went to that didn't just have me print off my own tickets at home involved a wrist band, which is still kind of neat for memories but not as neat as a ticket stub.

Just saying that my worst concert going experiences (and I go to a lot of them) are caused by drunk assholes (often older drunk assholes, though there have been younger ones too) and not someone's cell phone in the air. I'd much rather have people record snippets of concerts than have the guy next to me who's had five…

What's funny is that whenever I've encountered that (and I won't say I haven't, there are definitely moments that it gets really frustrating, though they are absolutely not limited to people below the age of 30) it's turned into a good opportunity just to say "Hey, guys, is it cool if we put the phones down for a…

I have to say that as someone who volunteers with teenagers once a week, there are times where I have moments of feeling like my brain might be melting just a little (anytime snapchat comes up is a good example), but then I think about how annoying it was when I was that age having a bunch of adults make fun of things…

I've heard that melons might be a better choice.

But the youths!! They don't understand! They'll never understand!

But you could totally hold on to that rad piece of generic printer paper, right? Unless it's one of those venues that scans your cell phone in which case…well…

He's probably one of the most interesting characters in the show, too.

The pacing is weird, but I chalk that up to it being the first season. The vibe I get from the show (having read none of the comics at all ever— I honestly didn't even know Preacher was a thing before the announcement of the show) is that they're really trying to establish the world of the characters -before- they go…

Whoa, too fancy for band aids?

It would probably just be a boardroom meeting about how many different cities they have crime scene investigations in. "CSI: Palo Alto??? CSI: Boulder???? CSI: Missoula??"

I'm pretty sure according to the guidelines nobody is getting any kind of blown in the fan movies.

I love rules like that, because "any other inappropriate content" is so vague that it's basically just "if we see something and we decide we don't like it for any reason at all that's it and you can't do anything about it". It kind of makes even bothering with the rest of the rules pointless.

I'm not sure I understand that, but I think I'm also ok with it?

Then my work here is done.

*Meatball footlong sub

'Handy inforgaphic' sponsored by Spirograph.