Police: “Freeze!”

*you’re

Only if it shoots past the April 25th date and shows up some time in 2019, oh and by the way it turned out to be $150 instead of $70.

So it’s overpriced, doesn’t have the functionality it promised, and is overhyped?

“I’ll assume you’re commenting in good faith despite your use of an awful buzzword like “identity politics,”” You assume quite a lot there.

On second thought maybe Hillary Clinton would have made a better president. I have spoken.

if he thinks being president is hard on him, he should see what its doing to us.

BUT HER FUCKING EMAILS

Ok, here it is. I’m a liberal but enough is enough with this. Its time to put on your big boy pants. Calling in sick to get shitfaced over and over, people encouraging you to spit and piss in innocents foods because you are grief-stricken, and od’ing on anti-anxiety meds as you lay in bed? That’s just scary. Who that…

Must be tough being so unbelievably perfect that you can’t help but take to your keyboard to cast judgement.

Awfully convenient that you’re just now coming forward with this.

I hate myself for it, but I can’t be the only asshole that thought of a butt joke with that headline.

omg this is probably what being in a relationship with a Kardashian is like.

Yeah but I’m keeping mine so it’s ok jezzies

Meh. I can still eat (all the best) Girl Scout cookies. You know, the ones with chocolate?

From the description of your outfit I would’ve guessed they would force you to play Nirvana covers for them. What a wild twist that it has more to do with your gender than clothes!

Next time I see a guy in cargo pants I’m going to force him to build me a house. I mean, walking around looking all probably-owns-a-hammer...what did he think would happen? #CarpenterLookingAssBitch.

I am confused. Why would I force a person to play basketball with me if he/she was dressed like a basketball player? Does that happen? Forced basketballery?