I have zero investment in this situation or the rich, boring people involved, but as a fan of a good Sunday roast, I’m compelled to say the beef looks just fine to me. That said, there’s enough fat on a prime rib that you don’t need to rub it with two pounds of butter in a gratuitous TikTok flourish. The potatoes look…

There was a time in my life I’d pregame some things, but a Broadway production of Death of a Salesman is definitely not one of those things

It’s pretty lazy to link to a story about Affleck being “banned for life” from a casino and not mention that the reason had nothing to do with being a horrible customer, but rather for counting cards.

FUCK

Criminal attorney here! What exactly is it that you think would lead to contempt? Evasive answers (I don’t remember, I don’t recall...) etc. are pretty common with uncooperative witnesses, however, it doesn’t mean they should be held in contempt of court. You cannot compel a witness to testify a certain way, but you…

It was inappropriate then too. I thought that was the joke. 

Andy Bernard punched a hole in the wall and is a descendant of slave owners born into obscene wealth

Robert Gould Shaw was the white colonel’s name and he actually existed, led the 54th, died with them and was buried with them.

I will not abide by this Airheads erasure.

So...an iPhone?

“A professor of Hitler studies” ??
You mean a History professor who specializes in Hitler? I mean, it’s not like Universities have programs in “Hitler Studies” side-by-side with Black Studies or Women’s Studies.

CYBERPHONE with unbreakable screen, of course

If people don’t watch, it will go away. Same with all the other garbage tv (the Bachelor, the Masked Singer, etc.). People are stupid. This is why when given a choice between democracy and fascism, 46% of the country is solidly pro-fascist (although they get mad at the word).

But, you’re the only person who commented so far, right? Preemptive trolling? Is that a thing now? 

...is in no rush to have his final film premiere on somebody’s phone while they’re on the toilet.

made it through all of them. The David Sim0n tweet should be in the Smithsonian 

Yeah, it’s not as if some smaller ticket operation wouldn’t have crashed if millions of people were trying to buy tickets all at the same time. That seems to be what people are most pissed about. BUT... if it just gives us more reason to talk about the outrageous fees, fine by me. Even when you buy tickets at venue IN…

I miss the days of standing in lines for tickets.

It was easy to miss in the Jezebel post, but I’m glad Kylie reminded us that Musk personally retaliated against a critic by canceling his Tesla order: https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2016/feb/03/elon-musk-blogger-tesla-motors-model-x