Yeah, if I know the showing will only be a quarter full, it’s not necessary. But it’s 100% worth the extra money if I’m not sure. Especially since I have wide shoulders and hate invading other people’s space. 

I really miss going to the theater. Good popcorn, a regular soda, phone off, no distractions, and a movie I’ve never seen.

...we asked for your quarantine sex stories and your responses did not disappoint.

But I can’t hate Top Gun.

I can’t for the life of me figure out why anybody cares about this.

Because it’s strongly implied that they had agreed to keep it private. Going back on an agreement like that is a shitty thing to do. Weird that I have to explain that to somebody. 

I see the Trump family still doesn’t know how to stand.

Yeah, I suppose you couldn’t look at what’s in the upper oven.

I like the door handles on the fridge.

I want to say “especially from someone who agreed to marry Jay Cutler,” but I feel that, as a Packers fan, my anti-Chicago Bears bias clouds my objective judgment.

a woman asks Cavallari to give her some advice

Shut up. 

Just a periodic reminder that if people stopped watching these shows, they’d just go away. 

Question, but not for advice: If a fuckup asks another fuckup for advice, does the double-negative nature of both parties somehow result in the advice being... good? 

If you haven’t, I envy you.

notoriously stoned out of his mind all the time

Hey, do what you gotta do. I hereby award you the Francis Scott Key Key for your efforts. 

I’ve made sure to wake up at a normal time, shower, and get fully dressed every morning in clean clothes. I even drive around for 15-20 minutes before I start working (best part of my day).

Plus, I feel this show was getting in the way of his true calling: being rumored to be the next James Bond for the next decade. 

It’s certainly one voice. Sure.