I don’t know about salsa, but other hot sauces do mix well with ranch, such as Sriracha. I don’t know any other way to make Srirancha. 

I mean, the music was pretty bad, but it wasn’t like “Maroon 5 bad.” 

I welcome any new Creed movie with arms wide open. 

You wouldn’t. At least according to my father, who traded in his semi-automatic rifle back in the 60s for a lever-action Winchester Model 88 because, in his words, he couldn’t “hit shit” with the semi-auto. It was just fun to shoot.

I kind of hope they do. Just to find out if (a) the food coloring turns their semen blue and (b) if the blue semen produces blue babies.

Nailed it. 

Neither, Obi Wan. It’s the article that’s written about the whole Twitter tempest in a teapot. 

Every reply to a tweet is at least as bad as the original tweet. 

100%. If you try to call yourself “T-bone,” you’ll end up as “Koko the Gorilla.”

I don’t know why, but I love this show. It makes me laugh more than it probably should. 

Yeah, don’t tip on a shifty. I don’t know a single bartender who expects it. 

It says something that Empire was the least fucked-with movie of the three “Special Edition” re-releases. Not even Lucas was willing to jack with it.

He was absolutely famous. No doubt.

I don't disagree, but he's also never sat through "Gone With the Wind." 

His hair looks like he tried to cut the front himself with a ruler but forgot his forehead isn’t flat. Doesn't inspire a lot of confidence. 

Please nobody show him, or even tell him about, "Birth of a Nation." Please. 

Indeed. Clearly he doesn’t give a shit about Patti Smith, because I think he left shortly after Stipe told him off.

Only to the extent that other rich white people spend a lot of money on his concert tickets. 

Oh, there is no fucking way he has ever sat through Citizen Kane. And if he did, the only lesson he took from it was how awesome it must have been to be as rich as Charles Foster Kane. And the idea that it’s okay to just make shit up. 

No, they’re saying that this Instagram person didn’t even come close to coining the term.