I think this is correct. I’ve never done any peer-reviewed studies on the matter, yet I feel confident saying that ice-cold pee smells better than warm pee.

It’s called a “handkerchief.” Put it back in your pocket and launder when you get home.

Here’s another fun one. The two of them were clearly stone-cold sober.

“Osemele was acquired via trade from the Raiders in March.”

We just called it “hot dish,” but I had no idea it was so popular with nudists.

Yeah, a Toyota pickup is really the only correct answer. 

Fact: Children who have pet tarantulas will 100% go on to become serial killers.

There’s no zealot like a convert. I’ve found this to be true again and again.

The best minimum-wage job I had was delivering food (mainly pizza) for a locally-owned Italian restaurant. I got tips on top of my $5.15/hour, so it may not count.

But ask any Iowan and they’ll tell you: The best pizza in the state comes from gas stations.

Is this the face of a man who is wrong about food? I think not. 

Absolutely revolting behavior. I mean, a soccer match is only 90 minutes. You can be loudly racist the other 22 hours and 30 minutes of the day. I mean, for fuck’s sake. Or just stay home and be racist there. 

The Lions suffered from bad calls. The Packers have Sam Shepard on their team. The misfortune evened out, I think. 

Are there any pleasant cruise ship stories outside Rose and Jack boning in that car parked below deck?

It must have been torture for these guys to go birdwatching without being able to make a single “Dee is a bird” joke.

I assumed he was a Nats fan, considering how much he was in hock to them for. 

You all could take your advice. Not everyone at GMG or whatever has to write their own take on what is obviously the dumbest controversy of the week/month/year. 

Here’s my question: What the fuck does it matter if Ellen is nice to, or even friends with, Bush? Whose life is affected (and I mean actually, tangibly affected) by this beyond the two of them?

She’d better hurry. I hear the Trump Administration is in danger of being relegated to the fourth tier. 

I backspace because I believe I need to be punished for my mistakes.