Old ass reference. Are you a secret Scientologist come to spread the good word of Travolta’s iMDB page?

Not returning texts? “You, sir, have the boorish manners of a Yalie!”

Nuts, right?

Did it snow? Did I have to turn my heat on and wear a jacket? Then global warming isn’t real, you goddamn hippies

It's the cute ones you have to watch out for! The two I watch are adorable and ovary-explodey but SO GODDAMN NOISY AND MISCHIEVOUS.

Chyna always seemed like someone who got chewed up by the system and then was left to deal with the aftermath on her own. If her time in the business had come a little earlier or a bit later, she probably would have gone down as one of the legends of pro wrestling, but she hit at probably the worst possible moment,…

I really loved a lot about this season, and this was honestly my most favorite thing: the portrayal of what it means to move on from things, even when you want to pretend it isn’t an issue. It was honest, and funny, and moving.

“Second City” is a term for the rebuilding of Chicago after the Great Chicago Fire (stupid cow) and has nothing to do with New York, fyi.

Gene Simmons is REALLY starting to look like Tommy Wiseau’s Las Vegas Uncle.

Here’s a tip from a dog lover for people who don’t own dogs. There were some basic mistakes by the players in this video. The dog is scared. If you are seen as a threat, the dog will not come. Don’t jog up to it and expect it not to cower when you clumsily grasp at it. Just wait for it to approach you while your hand…

WAY TO RUIN IT EVEN BEFORE THE EPISODE AIRS

So will Chris Berman. Every. Week.

There is no dearth of members in that club.

For all intensive purposes, I think he’ll do just fine.

JUST GONNA SIT OVER HERE CRYING GUYS. I’m so sorry for your loss. I’ve owned both cats and dogs and losing them opens up a hole in your heart that can shock you, especially if you aren’t prepared for the pain. You did a great thing by providing him with a home while he was here. You’re good people.

They bought their ticket, they got on the plane. I say, let 'em crash.