@JerseyGrrrl: I knew they existed, but I didn't know there was a guy named Jim Bob. Holy crap.

So that's who that guy is.

......Jim Bob?

He looks so young. I want to wipe away the lipstick with my thumb and smack him on the head.

@vlvtjones: Ugh, neither is ok.

@Baby_Bird: When did Harry Potter fans become the old ones?

I just made the noise that Sideshow Bob makes after he steps on a rake and it smacks him in the face. My brain wants to take a shower.

@MsLuey: Oh, go jump in a lake.

@jasonq: You discovered the dot dot dot that comes before profit! Congratulations!

@MsLuey: Congratulations, and are you as smug and patronizing to your students as you are to strangers on the internet?

1. Learn how to be social at terrible parties without getting wasted and making a fool of myself.

From the Michael C. Hall/Jennifer Carpenter story comments:

@kixiechic: People who drain the sexiness out of sex suck.

Man, I have nothing wrong with putting a few notches on your bedpost, but why is it so hard for dudes to combine respect for the ladies they have sex with and having sex with a lot of ladies?

@JJbikes: 51%, man. 51%.

I haven't had the urge to watch a movie while stoned this bad since high school.

I'd watch a home instructional video on how to make ice cream if it starred Jamie Bamber. That man makes me tingly.

@ceti: RUFUS SEWELL???!?

@monkeybusiness: You're a lesbian shitass.

@rek: Say what you will, but I'm pumped for Piranhas 3DD.