And frankly, one of these massive media conglomerates doesn’t dick me in the ass every month on my internet bill the way the other does.

I don’t watch Humans because I started watching the first season a couple years ago and stopped about halfway through. I didn’t think it was bad, it’s just yet another victim of my choosiness. I’m completely burnt out on hour-long dramas, sci-fi or not. It didn’t draw me in to binge like S1 of Jessica Jones (S2 of JJ…

This whole “He doesn’t talk much” angle seems like a great excuse for Spawn to not be in the movie much. I’m predicting a hard-boiled detective character (probably a hot chick) tracking all these mysterious vigilante slayings and then whoa nelly she finds out it’s Spawn but she’s all whaaaaaaat and then Spawn will…

Their browse function is dogshit too. The only way I can find anything new and not the same 18 things sorted into 10 different categories is by going into search and typing a random letter of the alphabet.

There are loads of perfect moments like that. Rarely are they more than 5 words long and they’re always hilarous.

I’ve seen him live twice now as well. When I saw that Bill Clinton story from Comeback Kid live, I legitimately could not pull in enough air to continue making proper laughter I was laughing so hard.

“Hey it’s been a while since you’ve given us money.”

I think the worst QA experience of my life was after an Eddie Izzard show, he was talking to people and taking questions in the lobby. A 20-something girl was jumping up and down, waving her hands and freaking out for a solid 10 minutes. When he finally called on her she excitedly asked him “Cake or death?”

I feel in a couple years I’ll be able to look back and laugh at all the shit I saw and paid the equivalent of 75 cents for.

I remember that video Jennette McCurdy made where she put on makeup that made it look like she had been beaten up and blamed the whole thing on “Dan.” It seemed random at the time, but in the context of the guy and the other accusations it seemed pretty obvious what she was going for.

But does David Byrne have a song that ends the same way another song of his begins? Because that’s such smart writing that if I don’t like it I just like, don’t get how like, deep the message really is.

I found “What Happened to Monday” to be the dumbest setup any action movie has ever had. Everything in it related to world-building was stupid and heavy-handed in order to portray a dystopian vibe, but in the the most complicated way possible.